‘We were walked on’: Extended family insists on visiting a woman and her mother for Christmas, who are grieving the loss of their stepdad and husband, then demands a perfect Christmas from them

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 5, 2025 3:00 PM EST

The holiday season should be a joyous time of year for all, but the timing isn't always right in people's lives, and catastrophic life events can occur when they least expect them. If you or anyone you know has lost a loved one, holidays are hard. You feel the void like a hole in your chest and a gash in your heart, but at least you have family to share in your grief—most of the time. Certain family members don't share the same grief for whatever reason, and in that absence of grief, come across cold, calculated, and inconsiderate. Some of them are such things.

So, the mother and daughter in this next story clearly don't want to host their extended family for Christmas after losing a husband and stepdad in that same year's November. The extended family didn't listen and proceeded to take over their home by way of unwelcome dogs, critique of meals, and overall judgment of the coldest kind.

Holidays should be warm. However, losing a loved one freezes that warmth for a while—grief isn't linear. This extended family revealed their true colors. Scroll to read.

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  • 01
    young boy with a christmas present box
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "Family member demanded a fantastic Christmas, a month after my stepdad passed."

    My stepdad passed away November 2024, a little over a month before Christmas. We went through the motions, tree up, some decorations, just to feel normal.
    via Sh**zme
  • 03
    We didn't really want a huge family Christmas, but it didn't matter what we wanted. The family decided they were coming to stay and that was it.
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  • 04
    Cue this one family member and their ridiculously entitled behaviour. Before coming to stay at my mother's house (invited themselves by the way), they had informed my mother they would be bringing their pet dog with them.
    via Sh**zme
  • 05
    My mother told them not to, as her little dog gets quite stressed around others, and with my siblings bringing their dogs too, it'd be too much.
    via Sh**zme
  • 06
    So family member makes the hours long drive, calls my mother halfway and informs her that they had the dog with her, and said dog would be sleeping in the bed with them, no arguments.
    via Sh**zme
  • 07
    Its about an 11 hour drive, so they couldn't turn back and leave the dog with the pet sitter.
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  • 08
    So they arrive Christmas eve. Judgemental and rude remarks were made about the house, not being perfectly tidy.
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  • 09
    For dinner, as is Christmas eve tradition, we usually get takeout. Well this family member complained about the "shit dinner" and reprimanded my mother for not cooking for them.
    via Sh**zme
  • 10
    When my mum began to talk about the loss of her life partner, and how sad and weird the first Christmas would be, she was cut off and told to not bring down the mood.
    via Sh**zme
  • 11
    My mother then said she hadn't put heaps of effort into gifts that year, everyone would be getting gift cards.
    via Sh**zme
  • 12
    Family member then asks why they bothered to drive down when they weren't being given a good Christmas.
    via Sh**zme
  • 13
    My final straw was later on in the evening, everyone had been drinking and said family member was rather intoxicated at this point.
    via Sh**zme
  • 14
    I don't drink, I was sad and bored and wanted to go home to be with my dogs and watch Christmas movies.
    via Sh**zme
  • 15
    As normally happens, I had quite a few people trying to offload all their presents on me to take home and wrap.
    via Sh**zme
  • 16
    I've had issues with this in the past, I love wrapping but I hate having to do it last minute.
    via Sh**zme
  • 17
    My grandmother had bought these toys, they were quite tall, bulky and oddly shaped, for some family friends kids.
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  • 18
    We wouldn't be seeing these people until a week after Christmas, so I told her to just store them and I'd wrap them another day, she was fine with this.
    via Sh**zme
  • 19
    However my other family was not. She informed me, not asked, that I WOULD wrap those gifts, and I didn't need to start drama as I "usually do".
    via Sh**zme
  • 20
    I just took the fucking things and went home, spent about 2 and a half hours wrapping other people's presents (as well as this family members as too).
    via Sh**zme
  • 21
    a woman wrapping a red present with a green bow
    via Yianni Mathioudakis For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    Yes, we were walked on. Yes we could have said something. But when you're deep in grief, you don't trust your emotions.
    via Sh**zme
  • 23
    If I had said what I wanted to, it would have been an explosion of emotions.
    via Sh**zme
  • 24
    My mother is a beautiful peacekeeper, it would have ruined the night and Christmas day and so wasn't worth it.
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  • 25
    This family member isn't coming this year and I'm glad for it, now we can grieve in our way without being told to get over it and have Christmas at our own pace.
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  • 26
    Edit to add: I'm not a doormat guys. My mother really hates confrontation, I do not.
    via Sh**zme
  • 27
    But it wasn't worth upsetting her even more. This family member has been spoken with about their behaviour, there's a reason they're not attending this year lol
    via Sh**zme

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christmas family drama family holidays
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